Again this is lifted from Stinkbrown!
1) My mother once: drove by herself from the Gold Coast to Townsville in 16 hours.
2) Never in my life: have I visited a prostitute. Sure I’m ugly and bad with women but I’ve never been that hard up.
3) When I was five: I was living in Sydney with my older brother and younger brother growing in my mother’s uterus.
4) High school was a: horrible time for me. I was very awkward around girls, hated most people and had to spend 5 out every 7 nights breaking –up, listening to or participating in drunken fights because my step-father at the time had his own issues to work through. I had one special friend who was a groomsman at my wedding and we still keep in touch although not as much as I like.
5) I will never forget: sitting next to my wife while two surgeons pulled and tugged my little Benjamin out of her. It’s meant to be a magical experience with tears of joy except I sat there trying to calm my wife while filling my pants with a stinkbrown of my own.
6) I once met: a girl at uni and although I was a third year had never come across before. We struck up a conversation that became daily conversation and now 7 years later we are the proud parents of a baby boy.
7) There’s this person I know who: would do anything for his family. Sometimes he even takes it too far and forgets to look after himself. I am self aware enough to know I will never as good a father/husband /friend as him but he is definitely someone I try to become more alike while almost always falling short.
Once, at a bar: I drank so much so quickly I was lost from my friends and was found at the end of the night lying in a ditch next to the taxi rank covered in mud. I eventually made it home by taxi with zero memory of the night.
9) By noon I’m usually: counting down the minutes to 3 o’clock so I can finish my day job as a teacher and go home and find out what my baby boy is up to.
10) Last night I: spent an hour pacing around my house with Ben in my arms crying. He was fed, clean and healthy but babies will be babies! By 11:15pm I pass Ben on so I could get some sleep so my day in the classroom the next day would be bearable. Which is sort of was.
11) If only I had: more money. They say money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can sure make life easier if you are retarded and still value the little things. I wouldn’t go out and buy a yacht or waste my money. I would pay off a house, pay off a nice car (not a $100k one but a sensible family one) and depending on how much I had I’d finance a short/feature movie. I have a script but I’m also smart enough to know it needs serious script editing and I wouldn’t put a cent to it until it was ready. I would also put a large portion away for Benjamin for when he is 25 (I had a little money inherited to me at 18 and I wasted it on a trip to America and going out) because having to wait until he is 25 will make him spend some time in the work force and appreciate how hard it is come by money and to use wisely. Having money would alleviate the stresses of impending bills and unexpected expenses so that life can be enjoyed.
12) Next time I go to church/temple: will probably be for the christening of my son just before Christmas.
13) Terri Schiavo: sounds like a mafia lady with a moustache
14) I like: it when things go to plan. Even the simple things. I appreciate it when I buy anything electric and take it home and it works first time. I don’t expect anything for free but when things don’t work/turn out like they should it really makes my blood boil.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: my teaching partner’s desk and the students desks in disarray.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: a whiteboard and computer speakers.
17) You know I’m lying when: I can’t make eye contact. I’ve never been told what my tell is, I’ll have to ask my wife.
18) In junior school: (does this mean primary school?) I had the best time until year 6 and then things changed for the worse. From 1988 til 2002 I was a very different person until met my future and since that day I have been slowly morphing back into the chipper cocky person I once was. Who knows maybe one day I slick my hair into an Elvis coiffe grab an ornament and rock out.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I’d be Prince Hamlet (the son not the father) because I feel empathy for the character and often feel like my life would be a drama. I’m also not that well versed in Shakespeare so am limited in choice!
20) By this time next year I: would love to have another short film produced. My brother and I have sold the rights for one we wrote together and the lads at Thunderstorm Productions have the intention of making it so fingers crossed. If not I have another couple ideas so lets see. Or even better one of my two feature length scripts optioned would be amazing, don’t care about the money!!!!
21) A better name for me would be: cynical or sarcastic. It’s reflected in my writing, my moods and my outlook on life.
22) I have a hard time understanding: why people have children when they have no intention in the raising of the child. The baby bonus is not that much!!!!
23) If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be studying film/script writing. I have no intention of doing this as I believe that I’ll either get better at doing it as hobby or go nowhere with it and just enjoy it for what it is!
24) You know I like you if: I ask you lots of questions. If I don’t like you I’ll listen to you but I probably won’t ask a question to perpetuate the conversation. I’ll also seek you out for a chat if I like you! If you’re reading this I’ve probably invited you to look so I like you. I doubt any random person off the street will bother reading this rant.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my family. And that includes lots a people (I know it’s a cop out) from my brothers and mother, my wife and son and my in-laws. Overall I’d probably thank my wife for being responsible for me being who I am at the moment. The Pessimist has a won a few awards including Best Independent film but the producers win that award.
26) I hope that: I am able to successfully raise a son who is a good person.
27) Take my advice: when it comes to the AFL
28) My ideal breakfast is: Irish. Very much like an English breakfast with Bacon, sausage, hash browns, baked beans, toast, tomatoes and eggs but you are offered a Guinness with it.
29) A song I love but do not have is: Richard Cheeseman’s version of Get down with the sickness. Not if the title is exactly that or the artist but couldn’t be bothered googling it! Just a cool cruisey song from an awesome movie.
30) If you visit my home town, I suggest: you wear a bullet proof vest. It was rough when I grew up there but has apparently gotten worse.
31) Why won’t anyone: finance my scripts? It’s only money (;-) see 11)
32) If you spend the night at my house: it’s because I live in Charters Towers and you had to travel. At least we have a nice sofa bed!
33) I’d stop my wedding: too late as I’m into the 7th year.
34) The world could do without: kindness
35) I’d rather lick the belly of a roach than: than its ass.
36) My favourite thing is: spending quality time with my family.
37) Paper clips are more useful than: debt (stupid question stupid answer)
38) And by the way: is a catchy track on the eponymous album by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
39) The last time I was (really) drunk: I was overly friendly with a friend’s dad when home and threw up!!
40) My grandmother always: lived near us when I was growing up! I have happy memories or spending the day with her and she’d feed me up good and buy me star wars figures. One day I called her ‘The Ivster’ (her name is Ivy) and it stuck.